My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
