I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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