I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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