Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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