I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
