He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
