How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
