when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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