so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
