I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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