apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
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Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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