Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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