I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
