so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
