he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
