youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
