help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
