i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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