did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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