What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
