There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
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