I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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