So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
