i can't believe i had my finger in that
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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