I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
