I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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