you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
