Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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