No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
