why didn't you poke me back
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
