it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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