oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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