i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
