In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
