Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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