Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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