There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
