He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
