it's too hot outside to masturbate.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
