I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
