piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
she peed on how many people?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Hippo gnu deer
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
