Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
