Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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