You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
