if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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