your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
