You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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