Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
