So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
