i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
