Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I had to cum in my sink.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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