I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
