Screwed.edu
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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