You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
