I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
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I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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