I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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