This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
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If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
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His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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