We won't sleep together?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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