it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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