Its about making memories worth repressing
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
