Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
