Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
